Jul 30 12:23 with 116,439 notes

foxnewsofficial:

cumomelet:

a riddle:

a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?

omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that

Jul 30 12:23 with 65,748 notes

michaxl:

smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness

(Source: michaxl)

Jul 30 12:18 with 106,578 notes

kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk:

kirk-:

kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk:

what does rofl stand for

rise our father lucifer

thanks

(Source: gaaaaaaaaaambit)

Jul 30 12:14 with 221,723 notes
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